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At this point of time, this is what is on my mind - what is life? For the rich, life means enjoying. For the poor, life means working so they can enjoy. For the old and the sick, life means to cherish whatever time they're left with. For the young, life is to do whatever they want before their life is devoured by work and commitments. For me, life is ??????????????

I've not been feeling well recently. For some reason, my head throbs a lot. I always wonder if I won't survive the night since its a common sign for brain cancer. Lol you may think that I think too much but what if I really die the next morning? Hahahaha.

I suddenly feel that the world is so materialistic. So am I. Everything is material. The house. The room. The makeup. The clothes. The money.

Funnily, the thing I think about when I look out of my window is "wow, what a beautiful world where everyone is dying in". Its sad to think this way.

What happens to the things you love when you die? Things like clothes, make up, accesories, baby pillow.. You know. Material. What happens to the material you spent money on, when you die? I'm not gonna refer to humans because its another thing. I just wonder now, why do I even buy makeup and eat good food. As I go along thinking about this question the past week, I sort of came to an answer. Because it makes me happy. I think feelings are really important in life, much more than materials themselves. You don't take away anything from an object when you die, but the feeling you get from obtaining it is memorable. That awesome feeling when I bought that NARS palette. That happiness when I satisfy my craving for salmon sashimi. Priceless feelings. Is there a feeling behind each material you endear?

I find myself more emotional lately. I do things with emotions. I love a lot. I love my parents, bro, friends (and my baby pillow :3) And I kinda get really emotional when I find it to be only a memory when they/ I die. "This meal with my family feels great but will only be a memory when I die." "This outing with my friends is so fun but it will only be a memory when I die." I do things with love. I write each post with time and effort. I don't do things that I don't want to. I don't write when I don't feel inspired. Like YOLO and not wasting any time hahahaha.

With each passing year and the fact that humans are ageing, I think more and more with each night I find sleepless. What I'll do if my parents die, what I'll do if my friends die, what if I die... Questions that will only be proven when the time is up. Everybody dies. Someday we won't matter (punzzz) anymore to the ever-changing world.

With this, I wanna say that I'm sorry you wasted your time reading this post that is a bunch of questions. And I love my parents sooooo much it aches that they're ageing while working hard to give a good life to their parents and children. What is Car, Credit Card and Condo? I would rather not have these if I can exchange these with some 20 years of my parent's lives. (not that my parents are very sick, but I wish they won't ever be)

Wish everyone in the world is happy and healthy always!! YOLO!!


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